Adeline love, clubmate
Faruq :)
Adeline red like a lobster !
My life has been so
screwed up.
To be honest, it has been tough. Dealing with every single matter in my life. I don't know how to describe it, nor do i bother because I doubt people will understand. To start from scratch would be tiring, and as much as I hate getting misjudged, I think its needless to explain.
But the happy thing is,
all these are going to become history.
I am going to lead my happy life. I need that back badly.
Bubbly,
worrieless, fun and outgoing. (Thank you Dv for waking me up)
I miss the old me too.
And I thank God that this season shall be over.
Was complaining to Dv that I have been too bogged down by the issues of this world and allowing anger, hatred, bitterness, pride, misery take over me.It has piled up over time, misconceptions of me formed, the indifferent attitude that caused me not to explain. Its high time that this should stop. I don't want to struggle with all these feelings anymore and put up a front that I have been oh-so-fine and coping so well. Friends, come and go. And thank you God for all who stood by me during the tough times.
As we grow older, we are given more choice and are freed from obligations.
But what we do determines what we are. And I am just beginning to realize it.
Life is such an interesting journey that we are unable to comprehend at times.
I didn't know what I was doing for a whole period. Being indifferent is probably the worse thing I have done, I used to hate that attitude so much but I was becoming like that. Probably, it was tiring and I didn't want to live for people.
My mentality: If you like me for who I am, friends. If you don't, forget it, I won't change either.
But I realized that things have got to change, its not about living for people but for myself and God. And I too, had enough of conflicts, constant arguments and the additional work stress that I had to cope with today and during the week.
My take now; Instead of going, I shall not take the first step. Why should I? Take it or leave it. Why must I? Why do I need to care?
Take a step back and give in first, the world will certainly be a better place.
High time to grow out of my stupid actions. Neither do I want to be a hypocrite, but i know for sure I want to live a life that is blatant and neat. So that even if people hate/judge me, I know that its alright.
Time to put things back into proper place and sort things out;
I had become a hateful,agitated,aggressive,unhappy,miserable,angsty,worriesome bitch but this has to stop, I need to start living my life happy, again. Enough of hating, its tiring. I may not like you but I will quit hating. The problem that people face when we grow up, is not that we face more problems but it lies within our way of handling it. We can no longer be bothered, we express ourself too blatantly, we get self-centred, everything revolves around ourselves and we do not take the effort to care. Its all because each one has gotten too sick of the hurts and pains in this world.
Cell tonight was just fantastic, I learnt so much.
Enjoyed it and sorted out stuff. Feel so much better like the peace was upon me. It's time to take away the big I and start looking at the U in every circumstances. My take: Do what you think is right, take a step back and self-reflect.
:)
I'm back to me.
