"I am still alive but I'm barely breathing"

Work has been taxing and i feel so suffocated, not by work just a feeling. I haven't had the time to sit down and breathe. Gosh, this is taking a toll on me. It's like giving me the feeling again. The breathlessness is awful.

Gfs ytd, Nic, Adel, Brennie the day day day before and gffs the day before and Lynn the day before. Had a pretty good time being such awesome bitches. I'm meeting her for shopping & dinner soon (next next week?). Tired max, i don't even have time for myself. As usual, complaining again. You'll never guess who i met though. Hehehe anyway yay to cabbing down to work tomorrow. <3 <3 <3 The motivation to carry on.

Met Brina ytd, it was pretty awesome. Walked from Dhoby to orchard to check out some martens and than we had a pretty good htht i think :) Nice feeling but the aftermath, me staying home today because i am not feeling too well :( Gonna get an mc laterrr on.

Retail Therapy with Adeline in town was good :)
I think it has been like super long since we went shopping, really ages. Didn't get much besides a pair of shoes from topshop, teeheehee. I wanted it since last time alright so its justifiable. So we walked around and ate our favorite ban mian stall for dinner, though i didn't take photos. And ordered extra dumplings, yes salute Adeline for eating though her braces were aching like shit. She damn funny. Haha but ofc i still own,    braces first day eat buffet.

Anyway we walked around and met Brennan and Nic to chill at Starbucks, my second cup for the day. Had white chocolate and caramel frappes all in all tdy. Had a frigging crazy time laughing my ass off. Brennan is the joke of the say. You'll see what i mean when you look at the photos. He's so damn cute cos we were teaching him how to smile and his jaw kept opening damn spastic!! Laughed like mad till my stomach cramped.
Super random and funny and we snapped loads of pictures to the dismay of the guys. Hahaha pics laterr

Don't know why i have been feeling quite empty this few days like my friends have evaporated & I suddenly feel like i don't have much true friends and all, guess its the pms plus me feeling super moody for no reason & upset and all. I hate it when i text my friends and they don't reply especially when i am bored its like if you don't give i shit about my life i shouldn't give a shit about you too. Pretty much goes to show how much a person cares for you, i need more texting buddies now.
Hehe cause i am bored and sad cause i feel like my bestfriend just dumped me. Or maybe its just guys, not that that are nicer but since i am a girl they'll reply. It always works that ways like this, like people are more inclined to replying people from the opposite sex no wonder i was not bored when i had guy besties.

Whatever, can't be bothered. Anyway thanks Audrey for being there for me and praying for me when i needed it, means a lot to me & i <3 you!
And Raylene whose short phone call made my day, can't wait to meet you soon babe! <3 hehe

Backdated cupcakes & Father's Day cake

it tasted really awesome

alright just for show we have not touched the cake :/ till now

jap

ramen


hi this is a random post some people are queer max :/

meeting adel for shopping tmr whee new f21 <3

hi there i have a situation here, i am pretty much in serious need for a new wardrobe. emergency hehe anyone up for some shopping next week

Exhausted- a lengthy post

Nothing less than fatigue.
I am insane man, i can get damn worked up and agitated because i don't get my sleep. Honestly, I need my breathing space. I have not been stopping to reflect, everyday has been so hectic and busy and i have no time to pause and think about things.

I need my space.

Honestly, I am suffocating. I haven't been able to spend time with myself besides sleeping and journeys to work and back. It's tiring & I need some time for me. It's like everyday has been fun but exhausting and i am tired of having to go out everyday without resting. Somedays i feel like i need a break for me. Just a simple day to myself with no one.

Than i have been thinking and i realized it too that i am too nonchalant about everything and i don't really bother if my actions will affect the way people feels, and its true sometimes its not really that i am oblivious but i choose to be oblivious. Selfish but true. Thats why i don't have a bestfriend. I am way too afraid to put in too much effort into any friendship for fear that the person will disappoint me one day, and i am hard to please honestly. I wld want my bestfriend to react in the way i want her to, crazy but yes. That pretty much explains why i have many good friends but no bestfriends.
And so far, my best friends have been guys and not so pretty successful, i used to think it was good and they were less oversensitive and caring and whatsoever but than when things turned messy and suddenly platonic friendships didn't seem to exist anymore i realised it was enough. Pretty much going to give my time to cool off and yeah if only there's my parallel we'd click perfectly. Obnoxious me.

And duh when things like this happen you can't confide in guys, girls still make the best companions. But as i scroll through my contact list, i find it so tough to type a text abt how upset i am and press the "send" button. Another thing is that i am damn hard to get along with i think. If you're super close to me you'll understand i treat people whom i am nt that close with better, give them more priority and stuff like that my bff has to accept this ridiculous behavioral trait of mine. I throw tantrums at times, always get my ways and hate it if the person ever judge me, you can try talking to me in a soft manner though. I'm more inclined to listening.

And btw i hate divulging things about myself because i have this mentality that people might turn their backs against me and i'll lose everything. Ha, worry control freak. 99% of the time i am in control of whatever i want and will do it, so its useless to talk me out. So yes i am obnoxious, obstinate and idiotic.

Now you know more about belicia. who seems to always be a happy-go-lucky cheerful girl who's carefree oblivious and never sad. Idk what's wrong with me too, sometimes i know i am in the wrong but i will insist on my ways and than i will ultimately win still. Which is why i never change, i know its horrible. Yes it is.

Anyway, ww so cute:
..."just that maybe you should learn how to treasure people around you even more cause it'll mean a lot to them- to us"

aww thats sweet :) i will, don't worry as it is. i alr care for and treasure you guys!

enough of bestie talk hehehe i guess i will never have one. and its hard to find someone that i think won't fail me anyways. hehe belicia is the ultimate bitch. i know that alr tell me something new!

High Society

Love how the red velvet looks

Their renowned desserts

Go for the lion king set dinner, its rly nice

doesn't the salad look simply irresistable? (the white strips are the crab meat)

Duck confit yum

seafood chowder

Coq Au Vin; Its just chicken ok ;)

Happy

with our food (truth was we were alr rather full because of the creamy soup)

Don't drool

ignore keith, look at the cupcakes omg

berries

no matter whr i go, the choco is a must :)

i am looking kind of spastic here

i am so coming back

my first time catching a movie in gold class @ great world city



i don't know why i keep thinking this is titanic

comfortable seats whee

we were damn retarded did not know how to adjust the leg rest when we mimicked the people beside us it was just a button, i was damn thrilled that i made my chair into a bed!

gold class is awesome, minus the fact that the show we caught was green lantern :(

Anyway headed to Dallas for dinner last night for keith's birthday dinner & than night and day bar to chillax :)
Meeting the clique at Brozeit today for dinner. Turning spoilt next week shall be a less extravagant week, i promise! omg caffeine addiction is real bad, i had such a bad craving the day before that i nearly cabbed down to starbucks to get a cup and than ytd i had mocha and java chip :( today i am craving more.

Omg i am so lame

Second time blogging today.
I just finished one cuppa mocha blended from Highlander & had a whole awfully choco cake in the morning. In case you're wondering, yes all to myself. Now you know why i am fat!

Anyway, just on a super random note.

I miss the gffs! Yes ABS, kind of scary to think that everyone might be going separate ways after different phases of life. Just kidding, our friendship is still going strong and you know how i am totally the last person that would give two hoots about anything, especially friendship. Come to think of it, I can't even be bothered with relationships. It's like you just got to live with it. Take it or leave it, than lately i have been reflecting and i felt like this complacency is really bad. Not only as a friend but as a person. I guess i am too comfortable at where i am. Never felt the need for me to change or anything. If you can't accept it, just move on and away from me. But I've been thinking and I think its high time i start putting effort into my friendships, relationships with people and things, in general. Anyway random note I love ABS :)
I hope things stay this way even if i am furthering my studies abroad!

Revelation. Heehee

Anyway I am really stoked about Friday. Woo time to let the hair down & have some fun. Especially when Grand Copthone is 10 steps away. Heeheehee Adel will be there too so i guess we will bump into each other, so cool!

My childhood friends !

Elson & my birthday celeb with the Bcmies; he's 2 days younger than me

Girls!

My bikini cake- Thanks Athena for designing!

The boy

Bcm Family; aww Audrey you are missed!! Love you all man

I haven't uploaded the scrapbook pictures and my collection of rings from them but they are so beautiful :)  I really appreciate all the effort you girls put in and i saw this vid my sis & aud made while doing my stuff so cute please kept me laughing throughout. Bimbos max

I feel so narcissistic because every post is about me and my birthday. Hahaha

Anyway, i am eating my awfully chocolate cake now, yes. Early in the morning so sinful right ytd i was eating the cold stone one. Oh my, what a fatty i am.
Anyway, I hope today will turn out well. Dallas for dinner  & than a chillout place which i hope will be awesome. Hehe
Oh and i found out the mystery behind my depleting bank account balance, movenpick held 400 as deposit & i'll only get it back next week :( Aw. I should live on bread alone.

Happy birthday Keith !:)

Part II of the photos

Barnacles

nic so cute here

This platter cost $186.00

So fresh & succulent

But look at the lobster, its staring right into your eyes

Alfresco dining whee



Barnacles with Nic for one of the days for my birthday dinner, it was awesome man <3 it max cause its seafood & you know how crazy i am over it. hehehe nothing beats cold seafood.You know that don't you
 But we ordered my fav szechun soup and brocoli as well.

I just had a buffet dinner with my parents at Cafe Biz , Traders Hotel yesterdat. Filling max :(
Back to the mundane work life, sucks. But I just can't wait Saturday. Round II :) Hehehe Grand Copthrone here we come. And Of Course Wed I'm meeting Keith for his birthday and Thursday where I am meeting the clique to celebrate Ray's birthday and for fri everyone else is in Malaysia enjoying the camp while bitter me is stuck in Sg, poor thing. It's alright fri shall make up for it!

Not meeting the gffs this week though :(

Anyway I shall post about High society real soon, there are so many nice adventures that i just have to recount them one by one and of course the pictures are quite a bit so i shall split them up. Thats all for today peeps, might  do another post tomorrow :)