Positivity, positivity

Super swamped with school work, been feeling so snappy these few days.

I need happy people around me :)

Got to get my life back in proper working order

I feel i am the worst screwed up being on earth. I have major issues in my life and i can't handle my stuff sorry if this place has turned into some ranting site. But I am feeling so messed up and i probably don't even know what to do. I can't speak out and up for anything, i am just trapped and enclosed and i just can't tell anyone my feelings and every shit. Gosh, seriously don't know what to do. Am on the verge of breaking down. The worst part is when i push people who care for me away and piss them off. So messed, so messed up. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me.
God i need your grace and mercy, presence, power, strength and empowerment. ok need to get my life back in order and I need to stop messing things up.

Thank you, you you for still being there for me despite how much i changed. Because i know at the end of the day, i am still me. and I'd do my best. for you, you and you.

i really can"t stand her omg, where in the world do you find such a slut like this :/

Pressure, pressured.

Stressed like a shit. I really hate myself so much. All i know how to do is to cry cry cry when i am stressed stressed stressed. what in the world is wrong with me. right i thought i could juggle all the shit in this world when the fact is i can't.
everything is really taking a toll on me the tiredness is killing me. i feel like dying. i wish i could just creep into a hole and wallow in it. seriously. feel like cutting off contact with the world, like all means of social life, everything and just focus on my work. thats all i am thinking of now. damn everything else. srsly.

MY STUDIES ARE KILLING ME ALREADY.
and i have to do the video shit which i just realised i can't cope with. awesome. and being the damn class rep when being meticulous has never been my style not to include all the church commitments as well as work (fine, my choice) and the friendships and all that. i am going die. srsly, i cannot take it, on the verge on exploding.
the tiredness is killing me. honestly. i am gonna forsake all forms of social life. gonna go into a disappearing act soon.

Super Exhuasting

Feel like crying man. I seriously can't cope with the level of stress i know everyone has that 1 million datelines to meet but i doubt people can understand. i mean, i think i really can't balance friends, work, school, church and all the other things. It's like i only have one body, one brain and i have so many things to do constantly. I seriously feel like crap man, like so messy and idk.
Sigh sigh sigh, God help me through this tough period of shit.

Birthdays, birthdays

Been like half a month since i updated !

Shows pretty much how busy i have been, school is crazy. Super stressed and hectic but well, its all a phase of life. Kind of enjoying my school life though i am spammed with projects, last sem to make it right and i know deep inside that i can do much better. Have been underperforming for the past 3 years. Sigh sigh sigh.

Never too late for regrets though, at least i am getting started. Anyhow, been thinking alot about my future these days, where i see myself at in 10 years, my education and stuff like these. I don't want to remain stagnant while others are constantly progressing, time to think about my future.

So anyway, I was considering these 2 options, i know i have a whole year to think but its always better to start early. UOL or Monash. Really tough choice :( But as you know, i am always this fickle so i am just thinking for now. London or Australia?