I can only find the time to take my mind off things, blog and think about stuff when i am working. Ironic. Was speaking to a very close friend yesterday, and i was kind of intrigued by whatever he said. Came more of as a shock though but i am grateful that we had that talk. Because probably you are my one true friend, out of all my friends.
Guilty, but it is a reality check for me. I need to start investing in the lives of others, spending time and effort to find out about their lives and how are they, truly.
Many a time, I find myself way to nonchalent and apathetic but i have never seen it as a problem. Not till when we held this conversation. Reason that i didn't find my attitude a problem was because i thought no one knew but after alot of thinking and talking. I realised that everyone knew. My mentality is wrong and it has become a problem.
i have always been superficial in dealing with every single friend, and the sad thing is, i like things to stay this way. Everybody comes together, chitchat, have fun and make merry. Thats more than sufficient for me. I don't like responsibilities, i don't like obligations, so it seems like this is best. But when i think about it, its sad that i do have a lot of friends, but if ever i am in trouble, i do not know who to call. Friends to hang out, aplenty. True friends...Hm.
I choose my friends, i am biased. I base my feelings to hang out on my moods.
I am aloof & detached. I am not faking it, but sometimes i really don't gvie a shit at all. Maybe its the fear of getting hurt in any friendship or relationship that caused me to be like that since young.

Than i realise a few traits about myself. I am quite a quitter. Whenever somthing wrong occurs, be it in a friendship or relationship, i quit. I give up, i seek an alternative and i walk away. When i get sick of certain friends/ feel that there is something wrong with them,i do not bother to wait, stop, listen and solve. I simply make my escape. Stop giving up, stop quitting, Belicia.
Glad that i realised whats wrong with me so that at least i can make ammends now? Treat my friends equally, be sincere and caring. Be real, true and not fake.
I know that this is a very very late timing to make a resolution but its never to late. I will start now :)

Ooh and i am going to start upating my blog. Promise to self, my online diary. This post is sincerely honest, so don't judge. The reason why i have the guts to post this is probably because i know no one reads this space anymore thats why. If it gets any livelier i should think i will remove this post.

hehe i am like dead on social networks beside twitter. gonna start blogging about the nitty gritty, bits and pieces in my life again on this space. don't find me a bore, i am just someone trying to keep records of happenings in my life.